It will heal...
There is now nothing I feel...
Confused, bewildered, heartbroken....
I made the biggest mistake I made since June.... I looked back on my past...
Its been so long since I gave my heart to another person...
and as usual... it fell not to outstretched arms, but cold heart floor....
Shattering to a thousand pieces... I'm left alone to pick up the pieces...
Is it to much to ask?... to be loved... to feel loved....
I feel so alone... so lonely... so cold...
As I pick up each of the broken pieces, each piece pierces me.....
But I have no choice... I still want to live...
Soon I will freeze my heart again... and this time... when it freezes... I will definately seal it for a very very long time...
This week has been a really really emotional week for me...
I've lost my touch with reality when I focused so hard on reality...
Projects, friends, and... love....
Barely even 24 hours after I just cried for 7 hours in a row... My fren got irritated with me...
I dunno.. instead of comforting me... he said that he felt intimidated... because I was feeling sad?!!
I really dunno wad I to say...
He treasures his CSCC friends more then us... I just realized that we are just normal friends to him... and worse still he is drifting away...
My emotions were anger at first, then sadness and disappointment....
Within this week we were rushing like hell for the 4 projects which dateline is coming up very soon... We tried to do so much... but its just not enough...
I hope we'll be able to finish a neat project in time...
My emotions were stress, fear and worry......
Within my emotions that I felt this week, my heartbrokeness is the most visible... I lost my heart, I lost my love...
Every other emotion pales in the light of this...
So hurt... I injured my own heart... I cant belive it.... Not again....
5 days has passed, I spent 4 hours talking to myself, 3 nights crying myself to sleep, talk to 2 frenz about it, and felt like 1 idiot...
haiz... My emotions were sadness, heartbrokeness..... just mostly sadness... the epitome of sadness...
Sad... I'm just so sad.....
Each tear that drops down onto my keyboard is an invisible hand reaching out to heal my broken heart...
I must have cried a billion tear drops by now....
2 comments:
hey, dun worry~ save sum of those precious brain cells of yours for a happy day=)
Hope that you will be able to decipher the truth out of the confusion, but more importantly, the truth FoR the confusion. :)
Juz wanna say that when you're down, dun forget about God and the good things He has done for you, and it goes without saying, dun 4get ur frens that may not realisticly always be there for you, but will always genuinely be caring for you. praying for ya andrew~ (",)
see ya on monday and have a Blessed, invigorously rejuvenating week!
PS: yesh, Time heals, but God cures;)
Andrew,
Rejections are part of life. Who on earth wasn't ever rejected? Even Jesus, Son of our Lord was rejected by Lord's own people. Imagine his woe.. unbearable.
Sometimes, when we look into our lives, we may realise that these rejections make us stronger each time. How are u goin to face what lies ahead of you and handle ur fears and tears better if u are always accepted and pampered? These sadness and woes of urs are temporary. I believe God is with u, He knows what's best for u. He will guide you. It's alrite to feel down and sad.. who doesn't? But dwelling in ur own sorrow won't be of much help would it? i believe u cab get over it. The Lord will lend u a hand, mending ur heart, piece by piece. You'll get over it, and in time, "revive" as a stronger Andrew.
Remember, U are NOT alone. =)
Post a Comment